Moments of Happiness

Sometimes 3 kids is hard.  Sometimes I think a five year gap- which means- five years to forgot how to take  care of a baby is hard.  I have been trying to enjoy the happy moments.  There really are so many. I have great kids.  

Tyler started piano lessons.  He is good. and loves it.  I pay him 5 cents for every song he counts out loud too.  His teacher says kids who count out loud get better fast.  

Abby laughs- and smiles a lot!  I love it!
She just had her 4 month appt. 20% in weight... this is so much better than T and E.  They were so low all the time!  weight- 12lbs 11 ounces

Girls nights out.  It was fun to walk out of the dressing room all wearing the same shirt.  I love Pam and Ang. 

I love seeing Darren spend time with his kids.  Even if his eyes are closed.  

My kids love Abby.  They love to see her, kiss her, hug her, entertaining her, wake her up at the end of her naps... they love her!

My yard and garden make me happy.  My first ever cucumber and the first tomato of the season.  I ate both!

Ella finished her Rusty and Rosy program.  She can read great.  That makes me happy that she can go into kindergarten reading comfortably!

Splashing in the warm summer rain makes me happy.  I used to do it too when I lived on Guam.  

Neti came to visit.  We drank matte and hot cocoa are the counter.  I wish I had taken a picture of her.  But Ang tried the matte and like it. 

My kids climbing makes me super happy.  Darren took care of Abby at home and I took the kids.  We had a great time. 

A friend sent me an email... asked how I was doing... I will post the reply here so I can remember this hard time... and the good times. 

honestly.. life is rocky.  We are so glad to have Abby.  We waited to have her join our family for almost three years.  but it has been crazy for me.  She was born in March and I did three kids by myself since my husband is the accountant who had to work during busy season.  then In July I crashed and had to get on some anti depressants because I just couldn't get it together.  Life was good, we were happy but my emotions were out of control.  I have never been like this before.  Three kids was hard on our marriage.  We were happy, but stressed out all the time.  

My husband really wanted me to put the kids in soccer, they wanted to be in soccer, but I couldn't do it.  I am hoping that if I can get to a point where I feel in control of my life again... which is getting better since school has started and routines are being established... If I can feel in control then I can try to exercise again.  Exercise is amazing, but it just stresses me out right now... I feel like I have so much to do and the baby needs me... kids need me... husbands needs me... dinner has to be made.. house has to be clean... on and on....

so maybe soccer in the spring.  Darren wont be able to help though which is hard. I know I have lots of great people who will help but it is hard to ask for so much help.  Abby will be a year old and not napping from 4:30-to 5:30.. and that will help!  but we will see... Who knew three kids would be the end of me!  I just get to figure out a new normal ... but I haven't quiet found that yet.