Expect Much from my Mom

My mom sent all her children an email... I thought it was good. 

I just want to share with you my philosophy about raising children and for that matter interacting with other people.  I have told some of you this many times but this time it is going in writing. 

 

I believe people and children in particular do just about exactly what you expect them to do.  I have learned that when a child is left on their own they regress and don't do much or go anywhere worthwhile.  We all need support and encouragement and sometimes downright pushing.  I also believe all this can be done in a Christ-like manner.  Love is the most important thing.  Do it with love. 

 

A child can learn that church is a reverent place and they need to sit quietly on the bench.  They can learn to work, study,develop talents and serve others.  They can learn a foreign language and serve a mission.  They can go to college, get a higher degree, a good job, save money and be obedient.  Most of this all depends on what is expected of the individual.  If no expectation is there how will they learn that there are laws in life and that they have potential.  Our Heavenly Father has certainly let us know what our possibilities are and has given us guidelines to achieve them. 

 

I once learned of a study that was done on elephants.  There was a herd of wild, mean, aggressive juvenile elephants that were atypical in their behavior.  When the situation was analyzed it was learned that they had been separated from the rest of the herd and were on their own.  Given no rules and no expectation or modeling from the adult, particularly the bull elephants they turned to aggressive, mean behavior treating other animal in abnormal ways.  Other juvenile elephants who remained with their herd were completely different. It was learned the adult bulls provided modeling behaviors for younger elephants, keeping them in line.  (if you want to read about this study go to "In the Absence of Fathers: A Story of Elephants and Men." on the internet.) 

 

All that said,  I believe children and people do just about exactly what you expect them to do---so expect much.

 

This email is absolutely not directed to anyone in particular it is just a thought that has been on my mind for some time and I want you to all know my philosophy about expectations.  Expect and love!  Mom/Nola