Losing Weight

I am writing this post as a self talk post.  but also I have all kinds of things racing through my head lately.  I hope if I write them down, my head can stop thinking about them.  

I have been collecting a few pictures that I just LOVE (choke, gag, sputter) to look at.  They motivate me.  

(this pictures was taken when Abby was 7 months old not 7 months pregnant!)

4 weeks ago, I joined a challenge to lose weight.  I have lost 10 lbs now.  I worked HARD for every one of those pounds.  I don't really believe in all those other ways to lose weight.  I think they sound good, some even sound fun, but I know that the best way to lose weight and keep it off is by counting my calories and exercising.  I had gained back almost all my weight from before I delivered Abby.  I delivered Abby at 160 lbs!  (for me that is bigger, I understand for some that is great) yuck!  How!!!??? I was easily eating 3000 plus calories a day.   I love to eat!!!! and not healthy food.  

Losing weight isn't easy.  Its like a part time job for me.  

1.  I believe in the Words of Wisdom in our Doctrine and Covenants section 89.  It says to not put bad things into your body... things like drugs, alcohol, too much meat, too much grains, all things in moderation... What it doesn't say is don't put too many calories in your body.  But I think it does.  When I have to go stand before God at judgement day, I wonder if he will say, did you take care of this body I gave you?   Food is addicting.  Sweets are addicting.  Eating larger portions is easy.  Food is amazing.  

Is it any different to #1.  eat tons of food and not have a healthy body...  or #2. put drugs in your body that are also addicting?  Drugs, food, drugs, food...addicting!

2.  Being healthy is work.  It is a conscious choice I have to make every day.  I don't expect to be perfect every day.  I have enjoyed a few sweets these last 4 weeks.  (I did make a goal to not eat any Halloween candy!)  I hung a calendar on my fridge that shows the dates of this 8 week challenge.  I committed myself to work for 8 weeks.  Counting calories every day. Being conscious of what I eat for 8 weeks.  

I use myfitnesspal app on my phone.  It took about 3 -5 days for me to get the hang of it.  Many people I talk to give up using it in that 3-5 days.  They tell me some excuse...(it takes too much time to type it in, I cant figure it out, on and on)   I chose not to have an excuse.  

I found a few things that worked for me.  If I eat vegetable cheese soup.   I am not going to calculate every ingredient I put in the soup.  I am going to type in "cheese vegetable soup" and find an average soup and call it good.  My iPhone has  a camera on it and I can scan the barcodes of food.  Easy.  Sometimes I even just spend 5 minutes in the morning typing in what I am going to eat the whole day so I can see... OH -IF I EAT HEALTHY CHOICES I CAN EAT LOTS OF FOOD! but as soon as I eat 4 slices of bread with butter on them, and 2 cookies I just blew 700 calories! The point is that loosing weight it work.  but I am not lazy.  I will not let others look at me and see no self control!  I will not look at myself and see no self control! 

(check out those pants, they couldn't get any tighter!  

I use to have to unbutton them after I ate a meal.)

3. I have heard myself and others say every excuse in the book.  and thats just it.  Its all just a bunch of excuses.  In the end, the excuse is always the same!  I chose to put more calories than I burn into my mouth.  There is no excuse there only my actions!

For a long time I used the excuse of ... I have a new baby, I am breast feeding, my back hurts, my feet are swollen, no time, no time, no time!  I had to find what worked for me.  I really wanted to test myself.  I chose to do this weight loss challenge now, while I am nursing, because it was such a huge excuse ... I cant lose weight -I am nursing.  I wanted to prove to myself I am stronger than an excuse.  There will always be an excuse if you want to use it. 

For a long time my back pain was so bad I couldn't/didn't want to exercise.  But you don't have to exercise to lose weight. You just have to have control of what you eat.  I look at myself and say... do I have self control.  If I am overweight, the answer is no. I don't.  Food controls me.  If I am healthy, I am teaching my kids good things, I am happy, I don't feel guilty, and my self image is good.  I am stronger than food.  

I will not prattle off an excuse for the rest of my life.  blah blah... excuse excuse... no self control ...blah blah...

(I had to go buy skirts because I only had 2 pants I could fit into.  I look bigger than my sister Renee who is 7 months pregnant.  I don't want people to ever think I am pregnant when I am not!)

4.  After the fact.  I know that in 4 weeks this competition will be over.  I will probably have to count calories of and on for a while.  I enjoy eating so much, and a hot loaf of bread, or a cinnamon roll will always tempt me.  but I know I can exercise and eat right.  I refuse to diet my whole life.  I don't want to teach my daughter that.  I want her to see a healthy fit mom.  I want to see her get married.  I want to see my grandchildren.  I want to take my grandchildren on adventures hiking in the mountains, skiing down slopes.  I want to live.  I want to live without back pain.  I choose to strengthen my core and eat right.  

(I had to put a bandaid on my toe the other day.  I had these super tight pants on.  I couldn't even lift my leg up on the bathroom counter because they were so tight.  These pants WILL fit me in 4 weeks.)

5.  Clothes. I don't want to go buy bigger clothes.  I have 3 piles of folded clothes in my closet that I cant fit into.  THATS LAME!    Sure I just had a baby 8 months ago.  So maybe I don't have to fit back into my clothes yet... but again. Its an excuse I gave to myself so that I could just keep eating all the food I wanted.  

6.  Money.  It costs money to buy fresh fruits and veggies.  It costs money to make healthy meals.  It even may cost money to exercise sometimes.  

It also costs a ton of money to go to the back doctor, to get X-rays done, to get shots in my back... it costs money to see doctors, to go to my chiropractor.  insurance or not, If I am unhealthy it will cost me money to take care of myself.  I want to take care of myself now so I don't have to waste money and time in the future.  I do not want to be in pain for ever.  

7.  Whats in my cupboard?  This has been the biggest thing for me.  I don't have sweets in my house.  I don't have cookies, chips, candy, or junk food in my house.  I don't bake all those delicious bread products right now, muffins, rolls, biscuits... I don't buy frozen quick meals.  I just can't. I know my weaknesses.  I will eat it all!   

Darren also bought me a Blend-tec.  I don't really like spinach.  I don't like Kale, and I would NEVER eat a salad unless I had too.  But my life isn't about always doing what I like or don't like.  I have been loving a green smoothie every day.  Sometimes even two a day.  It is so easy to drink some veggies and fruit.  Thrown in some protein (almonds, flax seed, powder).  I feel full for a while.  

8. Do you know how much time I spend a week prepping fruits and veggies.  I spend hours every week making salads, getting veggies cut up, cutting up fruits... and then add in the time it takes to make healthy meals.  I would rather sit and read a book, watch a show on tv, take a nap, but right now, I am focused. Right now I am choosing my future life style.  

So... at 4 weeks in and 4 weeks to go in this competition.  I have lost 10 lbs.  I have counted calories every single day.  Even the days I go over!  I have moved from the bottom of the contest to 12th place last week and now this week I took 3rd place overall.  Sure the prize money is exciting but the self respect, the confidence and the lack of guilt is so much better. 

It is ok for me to say I want to look good for my husband.  I want him to look at me and say-- DANG GINA!!! (or dang Amy, you look great)  I plan to have self control, to work hard and prove to myself that I don't need excuses.  I can work hard and do hard things!  

Now off to eat my salad with black beans, rice, corn and tomatoes on it! (I just pretend its wrapped in a tortilla shell... how I love Mexican!!!)

I wouldn't mind hearing peoples feedback if they want to share. I have so much to learn about loosing weight. And I only have my experiences to go off.  But if anyone types - you look skinny Amy, you don't even have to lose weight, go away.  Being a size 12 is not skinny for me.  Maybe for others that is their goal.  Thats great!   I am glad for them! My sister Jonnn told me yesterday she is very happy with her weight.  She has lost lots of weight and is happy with her size, whatever it may be.  Her goal isn't to be a size 6 like mine.  THATS SUPER!  GOOD FOR HER!  My goal is to be fit and healthy.  This is my own personal goal.